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Parent-teacher interviews are an opportunity to strengthen the partnership between home and school, but they can also feel overwhelming. In this episode, we’ll equip you with practical tips to approach these conversations with confidence and clarity. Discover how to keep the focus on student learning, highlight strengths, and identify next steps for growth. Most importantly, learn how to reassure parents that their child is seen, valued, and supported as a member of your classroom community. Together, you and the parents can work as a team to empower the student’s success.

Key Takeaways:

• Shift the mindset: Approach the interview as a collaborative conversation, emphasizing the partnership between teacher and parent.

• Prioritize student learning: Keep the focus on the student’s strengths, progress, and specific next steps for improvement.

• Highlight inclusion: Show parents that their child is valued and plays an important role in the classroom community.

• Prepare with intention: Have clear examples and evidence to illustrate learning, and anticipate questions or concerns parents may have.

• Build trust and rapport: Acknowledge parents’ insights and affirm that you are both working toward the shared goal of supporting the child’s success.

Resources:

• Make Math Moments Online Workshop
• Assessment For Growth: A Blueprint Course For Standards Based Grading in Math Class
• Make Math Moments Problem Based Lessons & Units

Attention District Math Leaders:

Not sure what matters most when designing math improvement plans? Take this assessment and get a free customized report: https://makemathmoments.com/grow/ 

Ready to design your math improvement plan with guidance, support and using structure? Learn how to follow our 4 stage process. https://growyourmathprogram.com 

Looking to supplement your curriculum with problem based lessons and units? Make Math Moments Problem Based Lessons & Units

FULL TRANSCRIPT

Yvette Lehman: So we’ve reached that time of the year, particularly here in Ontario where people are getting ready to write report cards and they’re preparing for parent teacher conferences. And we were actually talking earlier about, you know, how we all feel going into conferences. And I was surprised to hear Kyle and John that you don’t share my same nervousness or anxiety when it comes to sitting down with parents after report cards have gone home.

Jon Orr: That’s, I found it shocking as well because when you were, you know, we were talking about the topic here to share with, you you listener is thinking, is this something that people are worried about? You know, like going into teacher, parent teacher interviews and being less nervous and then in having say tool strategies about like, how do I think about these? What do I say? Am I talking about the right things? Like, to me, I was like, wait a minute, Yvette, like.

Is this something that, you know, math teachers or teachers are still like, let’s say I said, I said in that conversation that if you’re a beginning teacher, I remember being scared out of my mind the first year, like the parents going to come in. I don’t know how it’s going to go. Like I had nothing to compare it against. So I remember being really nervous, but then it was like, after a few times, you’re like, yeah, they’re all, they all run very similarly. And therefore, you know how it’s going to go, even though when you do have the horror story.

It still didn’t say phase me. So we were talking about like, is that a high school thing? Is that an elementary thing? Is that an experience thing? Because I didn’t have that nervousness. Like it was like, I enjoyed talking to the parents about what their progress is on the student. And I didn’t ever feel like parent night was like a real, a real scary night and nervous night for me.

Kyle Pearce: Yeah, I’m sure that, you there’s so many aspects to this. I think, you know, John, I think you and I are similar in our way that we overcome stress and anxiety. Like I actually saw a quote once and I thought it was really interesting. You know, it was actually in a school and it was on a principal’s door and it said, the cure for anxiety is preparedness. And I thought about that for a second. And first of all, I thought,

In some cases, yes. And I think for me, that really helps. like knowing, like, I feel like I went in in that first year when I was first year teacher in the first parent teacher interview, I felt the same, John, because I think it was like, I’m like, I don’t know how to prepare myself anymore for this. So I tried to prepare. So I was still anxious because I wasn’t really sure it was almost like I

you know, I’m a bit of a fact finder. So I didn’t know like what I didn’t know. And I was worried about that. But over time, I felt that I sort of prepared myself to a place to like remove that anxiety. However, I’ve also recognized that I think different people have different, you know, sort of things that affect, you know, their level of anxiety. And this is, I think, a great example, because my wife, who’s also a teacher,

is very well prepared, very, you know, does a great job in the classroom. But this is still one of those things that I think it’s the unknown of like, you don’t know who you’re going to get. Like you don’t know who’s going to pull up a chair to chat with you that night. And, uh, you know, I think you’ve had, I think you can relate because I think, you know, especially if you’ve had a scenario where maybe, you know, a parent surprises you, you from then on, think

Jon Orr: Ooh. Yeah, let’s get the details. Yvette, give us some horror stories. What has scorned you?

Kyle Pearce: Yeah, I. Yeah, because you know from that. Exactly from then on, you know when you think about it and you go like wow, if that like came out of the blue, you know, like if you it kind of shocked you, you’re like what else could be possible, right? And I think that can be a lingering, you know, sort of thought in your mind.

Yvette Lehman: I can vividly remember, and I actually share this example all the time. I had one particular parent conference that really caught me off guard and was very challenging in the moment, but it was actually a really transformative moment for me as a teacher as well. So I will try to briefly describe the scenario. I had a student come in with their parent. So that was already unexpected. It’s not typical in elementary school that the child attends conferences with their parent.

So I had the mother of the child and the student and you know, they were really questioning the student’s achievement and the student actually was not happy with their level of achievement in that particular term. The student perceived themselves as an A student. I, you know, was hovering around some B, B plus. And so the student in front of the parent was really pushing back on my evaluation.

and really questioning, you why is this a B and not an A and really putting me on the spot. And so I started to describe, you know, learning goals and success criteria. And the student really called me out and she basically said, you know, something along the lines of you post those learning goals and you post that success criteria for yourself. I don’t know what it means. I don’t know what you expect of me. It’s not clear. You’re not making it clear what you want me to do.

Yvette Lehman: to achieve an A in this class. And man, I was sweating. Like, can you imagine? And she was not wrong. And maybe that’s why I was sweating so much. And I think you talked about the difference between secondary and elementary. And let’s talk about this just for a minute. You know, you’re an elementary teacher. I typically taught grades six and six, seven. I taught six to eight subjects. I was not a master in all of them by any means.

And for many elementary teachers, math is one of those subjects that creates the most anxiety for sure. Whether it’s just your own comfort level with the content or knowing, you know, a student or a parent may come into that interview with far more content knowledge than you have. And so when they start to challenge your evaluation, I find it incredible. I mean, this is coming from somebody and I’ll be honest with our community. I mean, I consider myself an experienced teacher.

I taught the same grade for multiple years. I felt very confident about the curriculum and I still felt intimidated defending my evaluation.

Jon Orr: I totally get what you’re saying about, know, and we’ve had this conversation with the folks on the Mentoring Moment episodes in the past about getting pushback when they’re trying to implement a problem-based approach in their classroom from parents or, you know, an assessment practice in getting pushback on a particular assessment practice. one of the things that we were sharing with them and have shared with them, and I think this is where I think

maybe you realize as well, what was happening here is there was a disconnect between what you were trying to do in the classroom and what the student felt they were getting. Right. And it’s like, when there’s a disconnect there, this is when the student goes home and seeks support from the parent to go, I’m just, it doesn’t feel like there’s something not right here or they’ll blame or all of sudden the parent comes in ready, ready to kind of like back this scenario is basically saying there’s a communication.

issue and we haven’t made it clear or we haven’t made it feel like your support was 100 % there around what they felt like they needed. that was part of those recommendations we had with all of those mentoring moment episodes is like when we’re trying to implement a problem based classroom and teaching this way and parents weren’t understanding it’s because the kids weren’t feeling like the learning goal was clear and where we tie it. Kyle, we were like telling these people like you have probably didn’t tie this lesson up with a bow.

to make it like everyone walk out going, know exactly what this was in terms of where this connected to the learning goal and what we did yesterday and what we might do tomorrow. Like when these questions were left and that’s just experience of like trying different things. And when they go home, that disconnect of like where they feel like they are and where you think they are, that’s what causes the next, this kind of like pushback in a way, which I agree. can be very scary and probably having to like, when’s the next time I’m gonna get one of those?

Kyle Pearce: Right, right. You know what’s interesting and you Yvette, I’ve I have heard you tell this story before, so I know it well. And you know, we’ve never talked about this, but I have I have a sneaky suspicion that at that point in your journey, you probably weren’t at a place where you were thinking about assessment for growth versus say assessment as evaluation, meaning it’s like a grades, a grades, a grade.

because I think a lot of educators, know I was at that point, you know, for some stage in the journey, but I will say this, there’s definitely a difference. I think in your confidence level, had that experience happened closer to where you are now, in where you are in your own understanding of what assessment and evaluation is and what it’s for, I think you probably would have handled that conversation very differently in that, you know,

it’s actually kind of an easy fix in a way. Like if we open the door, and I think assessment and evaluation practices opens the door so that this student may not have waited, let’s say, until parent-teacher interview night to confront this issue, but rather on, as John and I used to do, on Tuesday growth days or on whatever your situation is and how you’re going to assess in your classroom where

If a student comes and they say, listen, I wasn’t clear on what you wanted for a level four. And if they know that they have the opportunity to improve no matter where we are in the learning cycle, that they can, you know, readdress learning goals and come to show you that, you know, they have, you know, accomplished the learning that we’re after. I think that opens the door to having more confidence in these conversations, right? Where

you know, we can have this parent teacher interview and it’s not like the first time that we’re talking about grades. Whereas I know early in the process that might’ve felt like the way it was. And actually there’s still educators now who are rushing to assess and grade so they can submit the report card so that the parents receive it. And then they come to this conversation and it’s a shock to everyone. Whereas if we start thinking about

Exactly. And a shock to the teacher because they actually looked at work, you know, for the first time because they haven’t been using formative assessment throughout their practices. So, you know, all of this to say, you know, when we’re when we’re dealing with parent teacher interviews, you know, like something that pops into my mind and the word is communication, right? If like if we can communicate more openly with our students and with our parents, and that can happen in a number of ways. Sometimes it’s through the student.

but sometimes it’s directly with parents so that these types of challenges aren’t a surprise on parent teacher interview. And this can happen earlier in the process. feel like at least by thinking about our assessment and evaluation practices, I feel like it definitely loosens the, it kind of like makes the air a little bit clearer.

you know, and kind of keeps the the the, you know, the anxiety down that this is going to be a surprise, because I think that’s part of the anxiety of going into a parent teacher interview is like, what are they going to say? It’s like, in a way, it’s almost like, I should kind of know what they’re going to say. And they should kind of know what I’m going to say. And this is sort of an informal opportunity for us to discuss and discuss next steps. But it certainly shouldn’t be like an out of left field conversation, which I’m sure

everyone listening has had one of these scenarios and we can work towards addressing so that less of these happen or fewer and fewer of these happen, you know, as we move forward. I guess I wonder, like if you were going into parent teacher interviews now, Yvette, how would your mindset maybe change and how would you be feeling as you enter into that conversation given that you’ve done so much learning since the beginning of this journey when this scenario happened? and where you are now.

Yvette Lehman: I think you made some really good points just about transparency and communication. You know, if we have really solid assessment evaluation practices that are rooted in feedback and self-assessment. And I think you also mentioned something important, which is this should not be the first. I mean, my principal said this to me a hundred times as a new teacher, of course, you know. You know, of course, this should not be the first time you’re having a conversation with the parent.

There should have been an opportunity prior to the report card going home to communicate in some way the students’ levels of achievement. So I think that’s all really great advice and I definitely think, you know, I have worked really hard in transparency when it comes to positioning students to be in a place to have metacognition to be able to measure their own growth towards learning goals.

But I would also argue like I am a work in progress when it comes to that, because there’s some content. Like if I was a brand new teacher next year and you threw me in grade four and I was being tasked with teaching ancient civilizations and it was my first time through that social studies curriculum, you know, it is a big ask for elementary teachers who are often changing grade levels and tackling new curriculum. So I think that for sure, like that transparency, just belief around what assessment, the purpose of assessment is.

is going to put you in a better position to navigate these difficult conversations. But I also try to be really mindful of the unique challenges of an elementary teacher who does assess and evaluate multiple curriculums that they may just be learning. And one thing, I’m gonna put out there from a parent. So this is me talking to the community as a parent who’s going to be attending a parent teacher conference myself for my own child. You’re both parents as well.

At the end of the day, what matters most to you is that the person that is with your child all day or during that period knows who your child is and cares about their success. That’s all that matters.

Jon Orr: And I think that when the student knows that and when the parent knows that, there is no confrontation or there’s no worry, right? Like when everyone has that same level of we all are here to make this better and for this student and we have the priorities of the student in play here, then no one worries, you know? Like it’s not a big worry anymore because we know we’re gonna work.

to achieve say the level of success. so when we think about like being nervous going into these situations, sometimes a helpful thing that I like to think about, and this is kind of like my big takeaway from even just reflecting on this, you know, this dynamic of preparing for teacher interviews is when we’ve had those situations or when we’re nervous about say that that parent teacher interview, I like to go, what frame has to be true for this not to be an issue?

And that’s what Kyle was suggesting, right? Is like when you think about communicating, when you think about making sure that the best interest is communicated to all parties, when you think about assessment as a learning journey for that kid and not a one and done or a set and it’s done, it’s locked, there’s nothing we can do about it. there’s fluidity here, that frame of having that frame actually prevents the situation from being hard.

So when you’re in, and this is something that I constantly think about when something is hard now is to go, okay, for next time, what frame has to be true so that this isn’t hard again? And let’s create that frame so that next time I don’t have to worry about this. And then that can be like that guiding moment when you have those hard conversations because we wanna be able to grow, we wanna be able to learn from each situation. think maybe…

Because I’ve had those hard conversations too, and usually it is around assessment practices of like what’s come and gone. But when I’ve reframed things, it’s made it easier. And I think that what’s led to say the confidence I have going in to these interactions with parents is thinking and reworking the frames so that they don’t become issues anymore.

Kyle Pearce: I love it. I love it. Today we’ve been talking a lot. In my opinion, you know, there’s six parts to the tree in our classroom tree and our district tree. But today I’m thinking about the trunk, you know, which is like our classroom pillars. And we’re talking about leadership. If you’re a district leader and to me, these are things that you stand for as an educator. And I think if we’re, if we’re clear about those classroom pillars at the beginning of

a school year at the beginning of a semester. And as long as we don’t just say it and then never come back to it, we got to walk the walk as well. We make that clear, you know, and I and I know I missed this, you know, for a good chunk of my my career as an educator in the classroom. We make this clear to students and we try to make this as clear and communicate this to parents as well. I think that also, you know, if this parent and this student are concerned,

We’re gonna hear about it a whole lot sooner. We’re gonna be able to be more proactive about it. And we’re gonna be able to actually live those pillars so that we can have a great, great next parent teacher interview. So thanks for listening in everyone. And we will see you in the next episode.

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